Drains, pains and life

I will not lie.  That drain was a pain in the ass.  Like totally.  Like really.  It hurt like hell and Dr Lynn should be dead as I know the look I gave her when she took it out and asked me if I wanted it was spot on.  How do I know it was spot on?   I got the evil smile. 

Rewind to Wednesday, May 4, the day of the surgery to lob off Pia.  All went well, I was greeted in my pre op room by Nurse Mike—remember this for later—who I happen to know and was so glad he was the one to get me prepped for surgery.  Even the needle did not bother me.  Then I was in and out of the OR in about an hour.  Not the same for the Recovery Room as I was there for about 6 hours until I was taken to my room.  I remember Mom coming in once and then she stuck around somewhere until I was in my room.  At which point Betsy came bearing a large unsweet tea. Betsy is a better person then I am as she knew to get the bucket when the color drained from my face and boy did I appreciated that.  Had it been me, I would have gotten the bucket for myself and let whoever I was with deal with their own output. 

Because I used the golden N word (nauseated) I won a 2 day stay at the Betty Cameron Women’s & Children’s Hospital (long name—but part of New Hanover and very nice I will say).   For 2 days I enjoyed the hospitality of an awesome nursing staff, food usually the way I ordered it and drugs.  In the IV drugs.  Life was good.  Then, on Friday morning in between surgeries, Dr Lynn discharged me saying DO NOT OVERDO IT.  I assured her I would not. 

Fast forward to this morning when I got to get that damn drain out.  I had fantasized about getting it out as it really hurt from Monday on.  No matter what I did, it seemed to get pulled somehow or twisted. And it hurt like hell.   My chauffeur and I were early and the good Dr came to get me herself.  I thought I was important but she set me straight with the there was no reason to get my weight or other vitals statement.  Good call.  I get in the exam room and her first words were I heard you went to church on Sunday.   Really?! Had I been on my A game, I would have told her I went to pray for her soul, but I was on my D game and  very confused, and I was racking my brain to figure out who ratted me out.  I was like seriously, how in the world at which point she said it was … Nurse Mike (paybacks my dear, paybacks).   At this point she goes to take out the drain, and as I am lifting my shirt I nail the damn thing.  Nailed it as in tears in my eyes nailed.  I’m dying and she goes for it.  I’m like what the hell are you waiting for aren’t you done yet at which point she tells me she has 3 more feet to pull out.  I freaked.  Then she smiled that evil smile and said.. Just kidding, it’s out.  She is evil, but good. The relief was instantaneous.  

After getting a few directions, making my follow up appointment, her laughing at my trusty day planner—amusing as she will not use her phone either—and then she looked at my work schedule (which is in the front of my trusty day planner) said oh crap—I use that same one for the on call schedule (we must be related on some level) I was on my merry little way. As Mae Ling and I are getting in the elevator—I remembered the big thing I was supposed to tell her (and she had reminded me to ask too as I was not letting her in when the drain was being ripped out of my back) about the pathology report.  Yeah, well, it was clear but being the special person I am, that 3 cm tumor when she first saw it April 14 had turned into a 5.9 cm tumor by May 4. Good thing Pia was lobbed off.  Good riddance Pia.   Talk about a true pain in the ass..  Talk about fast growing. Talk about luck. Talk about prayers being answered.  Kind of mind blowing and I did not ask what if… it was not worth it as I knew the answer.  Whew, only b y the grace of God. 

Tomorrow we will travel to the Outer Banks for a wedding of the next generation—4 years to the weekend of the one I missed due to the chemo way back when --and I will celebrate life will my family.  Can’t get much better than that. 

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:7