Hope

Hope

Saturday, May 21, 2016

Cancer sucks. It's that simple


4 years ago this very day, I had my last chemo treatment.  I remember thinking there was no way in hell I could be more tired.  Then I did radiation and knew without a doubt, that yes, there was a way in hell I could be more tired.  4 years later and again I am dealing with this tired crap.  At least I have my hair.  Granted I am down a boob, but my hair is staying put this time.  It’s the small things that matter.  Trust me.

Speaking of Pia, she seems to be healing rather nicely or so I hope.  After getting that stupid drain out, the good Dr told me that some people get seroma (a buildup of fluid in case you were wondering.  I googled it and oops, typed in sarcoma in by mistake.  Big difference).   Of course I asked how do you treat it.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  Aspiration I was told.  Well hell, the last time she aspirated Pia she took out more than 100 ccs of crap.  With a needle as big as the Empire State Building.   I have been sending up lots of prayers as that woman loves needles.  There is some fluid, but I have been reassured by Billy that it will be absorbed and that probably explains the aches I am having.  Not sure how I feel about that.  After all, he is 50/50 on this whole cancer thing.  I see Dr Lynn Thursday so fingers crossed that the needles are kept in the drawer.  I have my doubts as my history has been less than stellar.

A few notes on Pia and her passing…

·        I have enjoyed pointing out to Billy that his right boob is bigger than mine.
·        Every so often I will look down my shirt and say – well crap; it’s still not growing back.
·        She has new various names… however I am partial to Phantom Boob—she does ache and I am hoping that ends like soon. Very soon. 
·        Tylenol and ibuprofen are much better than the other stuff.  Well, not as good as the stuff I got in my IV, but it works.
·        When trying on shirts, one must remember a certain arm is not usable.  Got stuck in 2 shirts today.  I wonder what the lady in the next dressing room was thinking. 
·        I cannot open anything.  Funny how using a knife is not easy but a fork is.  Go figure.
·        During the first round, I got this awesome little pillow from the Pink Ribbon Project.  It has a pink checkered case.  I carry it everywhere as it just helps.  However, it is best in the car. Seatbelts are not my friend and I always wear my seatbelt. Always.  So I now tuck that pillow under the seatbelt.  I wonder what those who can see are thinking.  Probably think I am one of those who needs a security blanket.
·        For some reason I have had Growing up Skipper on my mind.  If you did not have that Barbie—look it up. It was the one when you flipped her arm one way, her boobs grew. Flipped it back and they shrunk.  I am like her except Pia is gone forever, not matter how I move my arm.
·        Honestly, I am not at all bothered about losing Pia.  According to the pathology report, she needed to be history.  Luckily she was selfish and kept it all to herself.  Talk about taking one for the team. 

Isaiah 41:10
Do not fear, for I am with you,
Do not be afraid, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.



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