The first time I got “normally
“sick after the first cancer go round, I had a panic attack. For 10 months I knew who to call when this or
that happened. I was frozen-deer in the
headlights frozen. Took me about 15
minutes to realize that there was no one to call-I was on my own. That is when I knew that the cancer life was
getting further and further away. Well,
until the first 6 month go round that first March. All the old feelings came back when I walked
into all the offices as I had 3 doctors to report to, not to mention a mammogram. And I waited for the other shoe to drop.
This happened each and
every time I went for my 6 month checkups.
Then last year, 2 checkups and the mammo went to a year and only Dr K
remained every 6 months (although he did pass me onto his NP). And, each time, I waited for the other shoe
to drop.
Then the scare in
December. I was sure the other shoe had
dropped. Nope, it did not, but I still waited
for it to.
Fast forward to just a
mere 3.5 weeks ago. Just a normal,
routine mammo, visit to Dr N and then 2 days later, Dr Lynn. I had a feeling that something had changed,
but thought it was scar tissue. And
since I was going to Dr Lynn, I was not worried. Well, until she walked into the room. Then I knew the other shoe had dropped. My gut
said it was cancer and again, I would be good. Until I was explained the options, then I
realized I had doubts and it might very well go south and it might not end up
the way I wanted it to.
Tomorrow morning at 545am,
Mae Ling and I will drive a drive we have driven before, but this time we know
what will happen. The plan is set and there are no lymph nodes to surprise us
and all will be well. At 9am—or soon
thereafter, depending on the person in front of me, I will again be at Dr Lynn’s
mercy (3 times the charm if you ask me. Then again, charm and Dr Lynn in the
same sentence is rather alarming. And
all of you who know her are shaking your head laughing. No straight face on me either). By noon (I hope), Pia will be history and I
will be cancer free and, a 2 time cancer survivor. Go figure.
Not sure how long the recovery is, but I have heard that I can’t drive
for about 2 weeks. (I did ask the
surgeon in the family for advice, but I gave up as he was useless to me and Dr
Lynn will be much better in that department.).
To pass the time away while I recover, I will be using up my 5 lives in
Candy Crush, sleeping on my clean sheets by Mae Ling, and I have a list of
people (who apparently think I drink way more than I do )who have offered to
pick me up and take me anywhere. And of course I have been told to plan a vacation
or two or three. (Advantage number one
to having your surgeon talk surgeon to surgeon with your brother and he sees
the bad mammogram which leads to the whole I see a bunch of vacations in your
future statement). At least I do not
have to wait for that other shoe to drop….
<3
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