The waiting is the hardest part...

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be waking up praying that later in the day I hope to hear the words “your boob is history”.  Yet here I am, praying I hear just that.  Life is funny like that some times. 

To say that the past 13 days have been an emotional roller coaster would be the understatement of the year.  I just had to be one of the 7% to get a recurrence such as the one I now have. Figures. This whole being special is for the birds I tell you (and to think 7 is my number. Depending on how this all pans out, I might need a new number).   The LAST time I was told I had cancer (never thought I would say that either), I knew without a doubt all would be fine and the cancer would go away.  Not so much this time.   I have had moments of this will work out the way I want it to,  but then that silly nagging feeling it could be Stage 4 which is not a curable thing crosses my mind and then I am totally off balance.     

In my heart I know whatever happens, I will be good and it will be as God wants it to be.  But this whole waiting thing pretty much sucks. I just need/want to know so I can get on with whatever it is I need to get on with.  It is very humbling to be surrounded by so many caring people, near and far.  Yet at times, this go round it has been overwhelming.  While I am thankful and blessed beyond measure for all the care, concern and especially the prayers, there have been a few times I have reached my limit and have stood very close to that edge of losing it.  I would like to offer a word of advice,  be very careful when you say you understand.  It might be best to say I do not understand what you are going through, but I will be there if you need me to be (need to add that to that list of cancer tips I did last October.  However, I think I did.  Might need to reprint those…) There are a very select few who understand and even then things are different. 

The waiting should be over this evening.  As the good Dr has pointed out, she can read a hotspot on a PET scan and she can certainly read a mammogram better than some Radiologists.  Yup, we could be sisters.  Chew on that. There is another one out there just like me!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3: 5-6