New, New, New, New Normals.. Gotta Love Them!

Only me.   Just a mere 4 weeks ago I had a blood draw at Dr K’s office.  He wanted to make sure that my estrogen levels were where they should be—you know, being on that estrogen blocker pill.   The call went like this:

Dr K:  Your estrogen is higher than last year.  You need a bone density test.

Me:  (sighing) of course I do

Dr K:  Someone will call and schedule it and then we have a hard decision to make.

Me: (laughing) Oh no, YOU have a decision to make.  I do what you tell me to do.

Dr K:  exactly

So, I did the bone density and figured I was head towards my 3^rd surgery in a year.  However, he calls and this is how THAT went:

Dr K:  Due to your age etc, chemo induced your so called menopause so you are not exactly through it- which explains why your levels are going up.  We are going to fix this with a shot every 4 weeks for a year and we will retest.   Insurance will cover it, I already checked.

Me: silence… (thinking that must be a hell of an expensive shot if insurance had to be called)

Dr K: you there?

Me:  Seriously, a shot?  That involves a needle.

Dr K:  (sighing) Afternoons work best—Monday and Fridays are not great as there are holidays involved. 

Me: Tuesdays and Thursdays are out so I guess Wednesdays will have to work

Dr K:  Works for me and I will be here if you need me. 

Me: Fine… I really hate needles.

Dr K: I know- see you Wednesday

Which is why, on Wednesday, April 19—in the mist of 3 OTHER Doctor appointments that week in Wilmington, I was standing waiting for Lina to give me said shot- yes, standing, more on that in  a few.  But first, let’s visit Tuesday night, around 1030pm or so, when I smartly decided to Google the side effects of the Lupron shot.  The more I read, the pissier I get and I start talking to myself- loudly.   The talking turns into bitching and whining and just like that I am up in a tizzy and am like hell no; this is NOT going to happen.  Then, as always, the moment passes and reality sets in as I KNOW this is going to happen as the only battles I have ever won with Dr K is the fluid ones.  I went to bed defeated and pondering the size of the needle.  And in case anyone was wondering, I did tell God I owed him at least 7 readings of the prayer of confession on Sunday.  

Back to Lina, standing and the needle.   God answered my prayers and gave me a small needle.  And since it is me, we had a bit of excitement as Lina was getting the needle ready.  There we are talking and all of a sudden, the plastic covering on the needle pops off and ricochets around the room as we are ducking out of the line of fire.  We look at each other and she mentions how that has never, ever happened before.  She then tells me I must be special.  I just started laughing and told her she had no idea, none at all.  That was when she smiled and said drop the drawers… I smiled back and said there is enough there… she smiles and says it is going into your muscle… I said oh, then I need the man treatment… after she stopped laughing she got the numbing spray out and says you have been this route before I see… I replied, why yes, I have and how much longer… she says done and I will see you in 4 weeks.  I worried over nothing.  Well, as far as that needle went.

Side Effects- the reason I was in a tizzy.  After reading the long list of usual side effects, all I can think is—this is like chemo but I get to keep the hair.  Instead of stopping there like a normal human, I continue looking up things.  I come across this sharing of information page- 9 out of 10 women are saying how they gained weight.  Of course they did. Just poke me in the eye with an ice pick.  And that is when I was pushed over the edge. My innards are still fighting for housing so I am still swollen and now I will more than likely gain weight?  Seriously?  Can I just enjoy the tummy tuck for a few weeks?! 

I went to bed the night of the shot and thought this was a cakewalk.  Then I woke up and tried to move.  Well hell, the bone and joint aches were back as was the worst part of chemo—the lower arm aches and the fingers all cramped up.  Not to mention the calf aches.  I was not happy when I ventured on down.  By that time, Mae Ling had looked up the side effects and as I am walking into the room she is mentioning that the side effects are like chemo (gee Mom, this was one time you could have lied and I would have not cared). 

Side effects:

            Hot flashes                                 √

            Bone/joint/muscle aches             √

            Night sweats                              √

            Nausea                                      √

            Insomnia                                    √        

            Swelling of feet and ankles         √

            FATIGUE                                 √

As you can see, there are quite a few, with many more not mentioned, but I figure these are the top ones.  I actually felt that first weekend that I had neuropathy all over again in my feet.  As the days have gone by, aside from the fatigue, most have improved to a more manageable degree.  It has been 2 weeks today and if this is how it goes, I will be fine.  I mean, I have done this before so I know how to handle it and what works and what does not.  There will be lots and lots of 90 minute massages in my future… lots. 

So, on the eve of the one year anniversary of the lobbing off of Pia, this is where I am at.  All is good and I am on this side which was/is the goal.  And best of all, Mae Ling was going to retire, but then, after reading the side effects, she took pity on me and is staying put for a while.  All hail Mae Ling! 

Side note on Mae Ling:  earlier this week I had a 101.8 temperature and while I was thrilled it was a normal illness, Mae Ling had her doubts.  In fact, when I showed her the thermometer at 101.7 she said did you put it under water (apparently I did that as a teen—I thought I used the heater) so I cleared it and it went to 101.8.  She then pulled mother rank and told me I was staying home that night (I was cat/house sitting).  I was not going to argue.  As for the cat, he won big time as I fed him a wee bit more than I should have feeling guilty and all that.   He might or might not have purred—stay away woman and feed me more J

As always, my blessings far outweigh the negatives.  As always, just take it for what it is- information not whining.  You will know when I am whining. Trust me on that. 

When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living.  If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.

Tecumseh