And the winner is.....

Penny.  If you are completely clueless and wonder who Penny is, wonder no more.  She is the fake boob I was gifted with 10 days ago.  She is removable (she rests in strategically placed pocket) and when placed on Rosie’s head looks like a helmet and could be mistaken for a jellyfish.   So far I have not misplaced (lost) her, but I am sure I will at some point.  I did misplace (lose) Scarlett a few times (the favored wig for those not up to speed) but she usually showed up right before I was doomed to put on Lizzie (the one which was just a normal Liza haircut wig—the least favorite).  She even came with her very own carrying case.  And before anyone asks, I have no clue, I just took the bag which was given to me and the case was in there. 

Anyway, Penny was named by Amy—who wisely pointed out I could say “penny for your thoughts”- which is why Heather is now chomping at the bit to go to a bar so I can whip it out and say it to whomever is lucky enough to be sitting next to me.  While it does have a certain appeal to it, I would have to be plastered to do it and I am well past that stage in life. However,  I have been pondering the possibilities Penny has presented and here are the winners. Please feel free to pass along any I may have missed:

·        A penny saved is a penny earned

·        In for a penny, in for a pound (however, she is 1.3 pounds—yes I have checked as she felt like 3 pounds and if she had been I would be whipping her out when it came time to get on the scales at the good Drs. Which I still might do depending upon the nurse.  If it is Ashley—Penny will be whipped)

·        A bad penny always comes back ( good to know if she gets lost)

·        Penny pincher (not a nice thing to do…)

·        Every time it rains, it rains pennies from heaven ( oh dear lord I hope not)

·        Here is my one cents worth (get it?!)

·        Pennies do not come from Heaven. They have to be earned here on earth (I have so earned this one)

Penny can certainly be a Pia at times. Trying to shove her in that little hole in the new bras I have been gifted is an experience.  Let me rephrase that—they were not gifted to me.  I hit my deductible- imagine that—so they were free, as was Penny.  My insurance generously covers four bras a year and one boob every two (I have added that to my list of things I never thought I would need to know in my life time).   On the positive side, as we all know there is always a positive side, all the shirts I bought while Penniless look so much better with Penny in them!

Psalm 100

4 weeks and counting....

Today marks exactly one month since Pia was lobbed off and my new normal became newer.  Funny how that happens.  One day I am annoying Billy with that whole I am planning my 5-year survival vacation and the next I am annoying him with the his right boob is bigger than mine (that will never grow old J).  

During the last go round, I thought I had seen it all (or most of it all).  Well, that was shot straight to hell when I tried on a bathing suit for the first time.  Let me rewind as it has been an amusing 4 weeks.  For the record, I am a shirt whore.  Seriously, I love shirts like Mae Ling loves shoes.  I tend to go for the ¾ sleeves as I can wear them year round due to the wonderful new building I work in.  In preparation for the removal of Pia, I went shopping and got a few different styles as I was thinking drain and no bra.  Well, I was not impressed and as soon as the drain was out, I decided I need to find a few more Pialess friendly ones. (This is the time when I got stuck in the 2 shirts with some poor soul next to me- never did see her so that was a good thing).  It was then I decided I was not going to shop for a while.  A while lasted less than a week as there were sales.  So yet again I found myself wandering around in Belk and lo and behold, there were bathing suits across from the short peoples section. I hate bathing suits, but I was intrigued and in less than a minute, I had a bathing suit and I was on my way to the dressing room (with a few shirts as a bonus).   For those who are not around me as much as – let’s go with Gaye – I tend to carry on conversations with myself.  So much so that I was talking to Gaye a while back and said “are you listening to me?”  At which point she says “no, I figured you were talking to yourself.” Sadly, this is a conversation we have on a regular basis.  Anyway, I am in the dressing room and commenting that it really is not too bad and the suit and the shirts are working without Pia.  I collet my things, walk out and there is a lady standing there waiting for me with a grin on her face.   I immediately said I was talking loud wasn’t I and she laughs and says which one.  I said right, she said left and we both said between us we had a pair.  Only I could find the dressing room with another lady missing a boob.

Anyway, back to the it’s been a month thing.  Yes, I have been tired and yes I have more than likely, kind of sort of, probably have overdid it once or twice.  While I am healing, the area formally known as Pia continues to be sore and getting comfortable is not as easy as I had hoped.  I worked a whopping 21 hours or so this week and it wore me out.   I can’t do simple things, such as opening can, bottles, reaching for things- such as donuts.  Last Sunday I got donuts for the angels and they wondered why I did not get more Boston Cream.  I had to admit I could not reach them. Luckily they laughed and not one pointed out I should have asked for help.  I can’t use scissors, but that is not a big loss as I am not allowed to cut things at work since I can’t cut a straight line anyway.  All in all, I figure it has been a good month—I have my hair, I have some new shirts and I am on this side of the ground